To tell the truth

I don't feel like doing much of anything these days. I'm tired and sad. I don't know what this is about because the weather is still nice and I'm getting outside quite a bit. I still feel sad about my grandpas dying. And maybe it's because I got no break between work and camp and work and the stress of a new school year and all that stuff. Who knows? In any case, yesterday I got asked to do three extra things, school related trip, decorating, classes, stuff like that. I broke down to one of the women who asked and just said I didn't have enough emotional energy for extras. The other two I just said no. I think it's good that I could say no. But maybe it's just selfishness. In any case, it's good that it's the weekend. And my classes were surprisingly a little better this week. I didn't feel as if the boys were making my life worse on purpose. I think that's a step in the right direction.

The thing is that I worry that if I'm feeling this way now, while the weather is good that I'll never make it through the winter. My anxiety is up. I can tell because my obsessive thoughts and counting are taking over. I'm not sleeping well. My desk and my house are a mess. Maybe my paranoia about winter is making it all worse. The thing is that I think God made me to feel my full range of emotions. But sometimes I get stuck too long in the valleys. In some ways I think it's a good thing. I believe my lows make me a more compassionate person. But sometimes I wonder if that's enough of a good thing to outweigh the crushing sadness.

And that's my truth for today.

things done over homeleave

Went to New York twice
Saw a show-not the best
Played a lot of hand and foot
Finished The Beet Queen by Louise Erdrich
Went to a Greek food festival
Ate Thai food in Lancaster
Went outlet mall shopping in Amish country
Had friends over for dinner (black bean soup and spinach-artichoke dip)
Tried to sleep in a lot
Watched a few movies
Did some house-cleaning
Didn't take any pictures

Title-less

Not a lot going on here...

There's testing this week, which gets in the way of my planning my classes, annoying, but, I suppose, necessary.

I seem to have either a cold or allergies. Can't tell which. Fun times.

Michael has Shingles. So apparently stress does effect him.

Homeleave starts a week from today, we're going to New York for half a day to see The Ritz, back on Broadway.

We have school again this Sunday, ugh.

And now a list of the some of the books I've read lately:

An Unquiet Mind - Kay Redfield Jamison
Personal History - Katharine Graham
How to Make an American Quilt - Whitney Otto
The Double Bind - Chris Bohjalian
All Over But the Shoutin' - Rick Bragg
A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Housseni
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - David Sedaris

The End

Oh, the things they say...

So the other day I went to the business office to procure some mini post-it notes. There was a new student working there. Let's call him Bill. (Yes, I know his real name.) Anyway, I had introduced myself to him about two days before, so I said, "Hey Bill, can I get some little post-it notes?" Bill said, "Are they for you or a teacher?"

I informed him that I am a teacher. Anyway, I bring this up because it happens disturbingly often and I don't know whether I should take it as a compliment or not. On the one hand there's the fact that lots of people think I look young enough to be a high school student. On the other hand there's the fact that lots of people think I look young enough to be a high school student. I think you know what I mean.

Is it because of things like this?

Clip, clip

We're back from Senior Retreat. And instead of this being a long holiday weekend we had school on Sunday and Monday. Boarding academy... I guess maybe this is what Labor Day is really about--hard work. Anyway, Tuesday was Fall Picnic. So generally a lot of running around and class spirit. Also, I got my hair cut. I cut 3-4 inches off. And it feels fabulous. Every time I let my hair get longish and then cut it, I always wonder why I grew it out in the first place. Somebody remind me of this, please. Anyway, here are some pictures from a few moments ago. I forgot to bring the camera cable so I could show you the pictures I took last night when it was fresh, so these, from my computer will have to do.






Michael got a new laptop, which the school paid for half of, so he's really excited about that. We've been playing Age of Empires next to each other. (By the way, we're big nerds.) So that's what's going on here, busy with work, but life is good.