Walking home in the snow

I was supposed to be on supervision tonight, but with the drifts up to my knees almost the whole way to the school and then back, I found someone to cover for me who's still at the school.

Whew!

Friday afternoon, as I realized that a huge snowstorm was about to descend on the region, I freaked out. Not so much about the snow itself, or the gloom, or anything like that, but the Law School Admissions Council was canceling the Law School Admissions Test for Saturday all over the region, and in Philadelphia, which is where I was scheduled to take my own Sabbath Observer's LSAT on Monday. I've been studying and taking practice quizzes, practice tests, practice writing samples for more than a month now. I haven't had a Sunday without a practice four hour test since January 10. And if I had to wait any longer to take this test my head would explode.

On Sunday I checked the LSAC website several times, and there was no news of canceling my test for Monday, so Michael and I headed out to Philadelphia. We took a practice drive to the test center. We hung out with Jared and watched the Superbowl (actually, I stopped caring at the end of the third quarter and decided to go to bed).

Monday morning I woke up at 6:15, which I assure you, is unnaturally early for me, ate a relatively huge breakfast (veggie sausage patty, hashbrown, half a banana and some apple juice), and got on the road at 7:00. Even though we were in the suburbs of Philadelphia, it took an hour for us to get downtown to the test center at Temple University. I don't know if that's typical or if the snow made it worse, but it was a long commute.

I arrived around 8:00, feeling a little sick to my stomach, don't worry, it was just nerves, not actual sickness. I found the room, and the proctors told me to have a seat in the lobby. Shortly before 8:30 the six of us Sabbath keepers were given instructions, fingerprinted, and assigned seats. We were not allowed to have any electronic devices, including cell phones, ipods and calculators. Other things not allowed: mechanical pencils.

Copied from my LSAT admission ticket:

Permitted in the Test Room (must be stored under the chair and may be accessed ONLY during the break)
Test takers may bring into the test room ONLY a clear plastic ziplock bag (maximum size one gallon/3.79 liter) containing ONLY the following items: LSAT Admission Ticket stub, valid ID, wallet, keys, hygiene/ medical products, #2 or HB pencils (no
mechanical pencils), erasers, pencil sharpener, highlighter, tissues, and beverage in a plastic container or juice box (20 oz./591 ml. maximum size) and snack for break only.

Permitted on Desktop
Test takers may have only tissues, ID, LSAT Admission Ticket stub, #2 or HB pencils, erasers, a pencil sharpener,
highlighter, and analog (nondigital) wristwatch. No electronic timing devices are permitted. Beverage and
snack are NOT permitted on the desktop and may be accessed only during the break.

I thought this was pretty hardcore. We had first two sections of logical reasoning, one of my favorite sections, then a section of reading comprehension, my other favorite. Each section was 35 minutes long. Then we had a fifteen minute break, in which I tried to subtly do jumping jacks in the hallway when no one was around. Get the blood flowing, you know? I had my granola bar, took an Advil to stave off the beginnings of a headache and drank a little water, not too much, since you aren't allowed to leave the test room once you enter. When we came back my first section was another logical reasoning (hooray!) and then, the bane of my existence: logic games. On each LSAT there are two logical reasoning sections, one reading comprehension, one logic game section, and then one extra that will be one of the previous three, so it could be any of those kinds, and if I had to do another logic game, I think I would have melted from nerves. Anyway, you finish with a writing sample where you are given an argument, you pick a side and defend it using evidence given in the writing prompt. So four and a half hours after we began, we were allowed to leave.

I felt approximately ten pounds lighter and much happier when I was done. Now I wait three weeks for the results. I'm curious, other graduate school graduates -- was your entrance exam this stringent? No water on the desk? No mechanical pencils?

My monthly update.

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. ~Anne Bradstreet

It's finally starting to look like spring here. The trees are turning green at the bottom of the mountain, the pears and cherries are blooming.

Spring also means Alumni Weekend. And the Junior Senior banquet, which the Juniors are in charge of. Both of those are this weekend. I've been really busy planning the banquet, but I think it will be nice. At this point, I don't even care that much, I'm just really ready for it to be over.

We were in Boston this last weekend over our April homeleave. It was beautiful. We walked alot. We stayed in the theater district, right downtown. There was a Maggiano's half a block from our hotel room, actually, I could see it from our window. So of course we had to hit that up. We went to Quincy Market and Paul Revere's house and the Old North Church. On Saturday we went to Concord and to Minuteman National Park, the Old Manse, Old North Bridge, etc. Unbeknownst to us, it was the day before the Revolutionary War started (April 19) two hundred and some hears ago. So there was a reenactment and all these people there to watch it. It was kind of cool and kind of crazy.

Also, we were both a little sick while we were there, so Saturday we drove back home and got a little rest before starting the week back up.

And we've got 32 days until graduation!

I'll try to post some pictures of our weekend soon.

Crunch time

After much job hunting, a few fruitless interviews, getting advice from many people, a lot of "pros and cons" lists and quite a bit of crying and stress, we've decided to stay here for another year. We had hoped to have jobs and maybe a house picked out, but the economy didn't cooperate.

I'm sad about it. And I'm somewhat relieved just to have a decision. But I'm still sad. So we're going to go out this Saturday night and go swing dancing and eat crepes in Philadelphia. Also, Michael might let me by a crepe maker. And we'll probably go on vacation to Mexico this summer. So those are my consolation prizes. That and having a summer off again, which was really nice last year.

Without the heavy depression this winter my life has been much better. And I can imagine living through another Pennsylvania winter, which I couldn't imagine at this time last year. I really didn't think I would make it. But now I can see coming through it. Plus every year flies by faster than the one before. We will have lived here for four year. Shocking. And we'll finish with the class that were Freshman when we started. It's like going through high school all over again.

So that's the big news. I'm also going off my anti-depressant and feeling pretty fantastic. We found a great little creperie in Lancaster, PA last weekend and indulged. It was amazing. We were in Nashville for Spring Break and enjoyed family time, wedding planning and beautiful weather. Now Pennsylvania is just starting into spring and it will last a lot longer here than it does down south, one of the other highlights of PA, I guess. Also, I cut my hair. It had gotten down past my shoulders and I got it cut just around my chin with a lot of layers. I love it. Every time I cut my hair I wonder why I ever let it grow out. So I think I'll keep it short this time (I say this every time).

Billy Elliot

Homeleave began Wednesday, and we left a little early to be sure to get to New York in time. We checked into our hotel and then set off for The Daily Show. We got there early, there were only about 15 people in line ahead of us, so I headed off to get some hot chocolate and a newspaper. It was freaking cold. I don't know. Somewhere in the 20s. So the hot chocolate kept us relatively warm for a few minutes. Then I tried to do The New York Time crossword puzzle with gloves on. Much more difficult to write neatly with gloves on. The guy standing next to us in line was pretty impressed with how much of the crossword we completed. I'm a crossword junky, but yeah the NYT is definitely a tough nut to crack. Anyway, we enjoyed the show, and definitely enjoyed being warm for a while. If you want to see the show that we saw live, it was Wednesday, February 4.

So after The Daily Show we hurried on over to Broadway and got a quick bite of mediocre food before going to see Billy Elliot. Which was amazing. Also, I was sitting about 2 feet from the stage. I ordered Orchestra, Partial View, which apparently means that you're off to the side, but so close that the actors spit on you. It was fantastic. Also, they had these little windows beneath the stage so that you could see the people in the orchestra pit. One of the lady trombone players was doing Sudoku on her time between songs. Another guy was reading. It was pretty cool to see them. Anyway, the show was awesome, but sitting that close to the speakers was a bit deafening. But still amazing. Maybe my very favorite. The dancing was fabulous. So if you're ever in New York you should go. For real.

So we stayed in our hotel that night, which was really nice, we booked it on Priceline, by the way. The Wellington, on 7th avenue at 55th street. It was a block down from Carnegie Hall, pretty cool. And across the street from the Park Central Hotel. So the next day we got up and had some nice hummus and crepes at a cute little French-ish restaurant, where our waiter was actually French. Then we decided that it was too cold to enjoy the day, and too cold to want to stay for another play, so we bought some lovely desserts and went home.

Today I'm applying for jobs and relaxing at home. It's a good homeleave. There will be some pictures to follow.

Update

So we've been busy. Being Junior sponsors has taken over our lives. Dress checks, skit rehearsals, planning committees... it will be good when Junior Presentation is over. Maybe I'll see my husband some evenings... I can dream at least. So besides that I'm off to a good start so far this year with my resolution to read more books. I've read six so far. Not bad for four weeks. And I've almost completed a really great scarf. Very soft and fuzzy.

Next week we get our first homeleave of the new year and we're going to spend the night in New York, a first. We'll leave here around noon on Wednesday, and hope to get to New York in time to see the Daily Show. Then get a bite to eat and see Billy Elliot! I'm super excited about that. This trip is my birthday present, and I've wanted to see Billy Elliot since I heard it was coming to New York. It's supposed to be amazing. So then we'll spend the night and find something to do on Thursday and then come home.

We've also been doing some job hunting in hopes of moving to Nashville this summer. No bites yet, but we've been sending out the resumes. We need to decide by mid-March, so please keep that in your prayers as we struggle to make this decision. If we don't move we might go to Europe again, just to give me something to look forward to. I guess we're Europe junkies now.

So that's the main stuff that's going on, besides all the little things, like coordinating Children's Story, being greeters at church, being on supervision, teaching and doing song service at church this week. I get tired just reading this.

Also, there's been a lot of snow. I'm done. I don't even think it's pretty anymore. It's just in the way. Spring can not come fast enough.

Things done over homeleave

My dad came to visit over homeleave. His first visit to our home. So we showed him around Philadelphia, saw the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. We went to the old Wannemaker's, which is now a Macy's. There they have the world's largest working organ, which they play every day at noon and 5:30. So we listened to the noon concert, which was lovely. We saw a few old churches where our Founding Fathers were common visitors or members. Then we went down to the Italian Market, which was mostly closed at 6:00, but we found a great little bakery and bought a piece of chocolate raspberry ganache cake and a piece of chocolate covered cheesecake. They were delicious. Then we ate at a great little restaurant where the portions and quality were fantastic and the presentation was beautiful. I think it was called Sabrina's.

Friday we mostly hung around the house, but we did venture out into Hamburg, and we showed my dad the school. Saturday we made a lovely brunch with crepes, fruit salad and hashbrowns. Then we went to Lancaster and looked at Amish stuff. Quilts, baked goods, etc. We stopped at the big 10,000 Villages in Ephrata that has a little cafe inside and sells fair trade Persian Rugs. On Sunday we left Michael home and Dad and I explored Longwood Gardens.

Now I'm back to work. I'm pretty tired, but glad for a good visit with my dad, even though it rained and was cloudy every day he was here. Too bad you can't order up the weather for such occasions.

We may shortly have some exciting news to share. Pending the final decision... coming any day now.

Neglectful me

I have been mostly absent from the blogosphere lately. Sorry about that. I just spent most of my afternoon at work catching up on everything that's going on in everyone else's lives. I think part of the neglectfulness is the new school year and added responsibilities. I'm busy with Business Math and trying to think of new ways to explain problems that seem all too simple to me. Mostly I say, "Here's how you do it. Here's your assignment. Now do it." Then go around the classroom and answer questions. How there are questions, I don't really know. But some of the kids really love the class. I think it's because they've finally found a math class that they're good at. It builds their self-esteem. That's fun to watch. In English class today one of my students told me I looked pretty. That pretty much made my day. If a student even recognizes me as a human being it's pretty much a good thing. A human being who looks nice: even better.

We didn't have a long Labor Day weekend. Actually we had almost no weekend at all. We were on supervision Friday night and Sabbath, then had class meetings and elections Saturday night (that was as fun as jumping into a barrel of barracuda), then Sunday School, and right on into the regular school week. So I've been tired this week. Tomorrow we're going to a church two hours away to make an offering appeal for the school. So Saturday evening we're hoping to watch a movie. (What a novelty!) And Sunday I'm going to try to make it to the Farmer's Market to buy some produce. Those are my only plans.

This afternoon we're going into Reading. Michael's going to give plasma while I shop. On my list: Season 4 of The Office and bobby pins. Then we're going to Olive Garden for the never-ending pasta bowl. Can't have too much pasta, right?

Also, it's been freakishly hot and the school doesn't have central air, so I've been roasting in my office. Bleh.

Here I am today, after three weeks of school. That's the hardest part, and I survived!

I believe...

In the last few days I've noticed what I believe to be actual green grass. And a couple of trees are starting to look greenish around the edges. I'm starting to think that spring really might come this year.

Oh, alright

We arrived in Louisville just in time for the snow storm. I got out of there like a bat out of hell in order to reach Nashville before I got snowed in. The irony was that last weekend in PA, it was in the 50s. Oh well, it was great to be with family. And as it snowed on Friday night, we sat around the fire, turned out the lights, watched the snow fall and talked about grandma. Other things too, but a lot about grandma. That sadness just lingers. I keep having dreams about her in which she is alive, which seems weird to me, but I suppose it's just my mind catching up to reality and letting itself grieve when I don't always let myself do it consciously.

So I spent a few lovely days in Nashville, then Michael and I headed to Gatlinburg where we enjoyed the great outdoors, the pancake pantry (raspberry, wildberry and peach crepes. Oh. My. Goodness. I wanted to cry, they were so good. And I don't like pancakes.), our time share (we had a kitchen, dining area, living room, bedroom with huge jacuzzi, separate bathroom, and a balcony that looked out into the woods and a little streamlet) and each other. It's really nice to spend time together after boarding school. It kind of reminds us why we got married in the first place. We actually like each other. Imagine.

While in Nashville with the family we made delicious brunches. For one of these I made fruit soup. It was my second attempt, and I have to tell you, I think I'm only getting better at it. And it was good the first time. Christa made hashbrowns in the wafflemaker with nice spices and stuff. The day before, Dino made snow ice cream, and mom and Christa made crepes. It was some good eatin'. We also went to Radnor Lake on a cold Saturday and saw some deer. Some people played with the snow. I did not.


On the trail

Little ol' me

Deer!

Fruit soup

Our early Easter Brunch

Now we're home again, and that's nice too. And only a quarter left until school is over. I'm not sure how three-fourths of the school year got by so quickly, but it seems to be true. Still, I'm preparing myself for it to snow again. Because it probably will. But I can imagine spring after seeing some things turning green and/or blooming down south. Winter might not last forever, after all.

Dreaming

Yesterday it was all sunny - the second day in a row. And almost all the snow melted. And I felt melty inside too. Happy that maybe, possibly winter would end soon. So this morning when I woke up, looked outside and saw big, fluffy snowflakes my heart broke. Seriously. I started crying. I hate Pennsylvania. I want to move south. Maybe if I were schizophrenic I could imagine that I lived somewhere else and pretend that place was warm. I would probably get frostbite. But so far it doesn't seem that I'm schizophrenic. We won't totally dismiss the possibility though.

So yesterday whilst writing an email to Ben I realized that I should keep track of all my dreams right now, because lately my dreams have been very vivid and a little crazy. So I started keeping a log. Here's a snippet from my last few nights.
~~~~~~
Feb 21, 2008 -- Last night I had a dream in which I gave a persuasive speech about why Barack Obama should be president. I received a standing ovation. Then Ben and I danced and sang to "I will go down with this ship." Then Ben did a cartwheel/round-off combo. We also stopped and saw several of our married friends, all of whom had babies. Some cuter than others. All of this was on Union's campus and Justin was there too. (But the teacher in the persuasive speech setting was Mrs. G, and she was definitely not for Obama.)

Feb 23 -- I had a dream that my grandma was in assisted living in Nashville and mom took me to see her. I helped feed her even though she could do it herself, and she was talking to me, and was all lively, much more so than the last times I saw her. The whole time I kept thinking, "this is so weird because she's dead."

Feb 24 -- I dreamed that Leslie, Sissel and I were going on a road trip, and then Athena showed up as a surprise. And she was so small that she had hidden in her luggage and had it delivered to Sissel's door. Also, for a time, my car was invisible because I had left it in drive when I got out of it.

Feb 25 – DM's dad was observing my class and my students were being really bad. Half of them weren’t there, the others wouldn’t listen to me. He told me that some of my students had been talking about plagiarizing their book reports off of myspace.
~~~~~~
So if I've told you any of my dreams in the last few weeks/months let me know so that I can write them down.

Those are milder and less stress-inducing than my dreams of a month or so ago. So I take that as a good sign.

The soundtrack for this post is The Cranberries "Dreams." In case you were wondering

Title:

I don't feel like blogging. But I feel like I should. So here's the update: I'm still feeling emotionally a lot better. Which if great. Still, I'm ready for spring. We have about six inches of snow today. Which, if you know me at all, is not a good thing to my way of thinking. Although it does heighten the chance of the daffodils I planted two weeks ago having a chance to bloom.

I'm a little sick today. Sore throat, headache, congestion... A lot of the kids at school have been sick, so I've just been waiting for it to hit me. I had hoped that I would escape, but it doesn't look that way. I slept through work this morning, but made it for the afternoon.

Our principal is leaving. This makes us sad and apprehensive about the future.

We bought our tickets to London and from Rome. We scheduled our hotel for a week in Italy. So we're officially going to Europe this summer, barring any unhappy circumstances. I think with all the deaths in my family lately I just feel like I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. So I don't make any long-term plans without thinking about the possibility of having to break them for a funeral. Hence travel insurance.

And spring break begins in a week and a half... I can make it that long. I believe.

Did I mention that I hate winter?

A branch on the maple tree in our front yard. Usually it's several feet higher than this.

Grass-sickle anyone?

Ice-laden fir tree

Winter wonderland?

Noone's home.

Had a big ice storm last night/this morning. It took us fifteen minutes to get the car doors open, using boiling water, etc. We wouldn't have ventured outside, but we had Sunday school. There was a bird frozen to a tree on campus. I didn't see it, but all the kids were talking about it. Thankfully the sun is out this afternoon and the ice is falling off the trees, so we may not lose too many more branches.

Random

No miraculous mood change yet. When I wake up in the morning I use my light and I feel like I have more energy afterward, but I don't feel particularly happy. I'm not feeling the deep sadness of before either. So I'm just kind of minorly depressed. Which I guess is better.

I got more feedback from my students' surveys. And I felt really good about it. I'm starting to think maybe I should be a teacher. But right now I'm just doing this part time-two classes. I can't imagine teaching full-time. So I guess I still don't know what to do with my life.

I caught Pounce halfway up the Christmas tree the other day. Now we have to watch out for that.

Two weeks from tomorrow Christmas vacation begins. That's a little hard to believe. I have no idea how I've gotten halfway through this school year. And second semester always flies by, so I'm practically done with this year. We're going to Florida for Christmas. Maybe the warmer weather and time with family will do the trick.

It keeps snowing here. It's not accumulating. Probably because of the wind. I guess all the snow we had here is probably down in Virginia by now.

I've gotten up to level 48 on freerice. And I've donated more than 80,00 grains of rice.

And that's about it.

Where to begin?

This will probably be a ramble, because a lot has happened in two weeks, and I don't feel like sorting it all out.

So two weeks ago, I called the doctor's office and they couldn't get me in because they don't have my records yet from the other doctor's office. That meant no antidepressants. I cried on the phone with them. They didn't give in. I felt very frustrated. Here I am, really trying to do the right things for myself, and no one seemed to be willing to help me.

So the next day I was at my OBGYN to get my birth control shot and I told the nurse administering my shot what I was going through. I seriously broke down right there. I must have been convincing. She got me two prescriptions to hold me over until I can get in at the regular doctor. She was really nice. Here I am crying and hyperventilating and she's saying things like, "That's what we're here on earth for, to help each other." and "You're not crazy, we all go through rough times." So kudos to her, the only medical professional willing to do anything helpful for me.

Parent/teacher conferences went fine. I had to tell one set of parents that their son plagiarized his paper. They weren't happy with him.

The vice principal came to observe my class. I think it went well. We haven't talked about it yet. But I did get the results from my students' surveys. They were very positive. It made me feel like I could be a teacher after all...

It started snowing last Sunday before we started our drive to Louisville. It wasn't really sticking, but it was disappointing anyway. And gross. On our drive back on Saturday there was a lot of snow on the ground in western PA but none here.

I had a nice day with my sister. I think she had a good birthday. I met her new boyfriend, who seems very nice. It was good to be with family, even briefly.

I have a clothing budget of $50 per month. This month I got a pair of shoes, a dress, two shirts, a sweater/jacket, and a pair of capri/gauchos. Boo-yah. And with two dollars to spare.

Caught up on my sleep over the holidays. Still tired. Can't sleep. Should look into getting some Ambien.

Got our Christmas tree yesterday. We had to cut some of the top off so that it didn't hit the ceiling. A big difference over last year's Christmas bush. Pounce loves the tree and wants to climb it and play with the ornaments. Hopefully I'll get out the camera and pictures will follow.

Grades are due tomorrow and I still have grading and lesson planning to do, so I have to get back to work.

Pounce de Lion

That's the official name. Whether it will stick or not I'm not sure. Mostly she goes by Pounce. She's 8 1/2 weeks old. She has become quite proficient at climbing legs. So I'm trying to dissuade her from that. Also, she's fascinated by the ceiling fan. She tried to climb up the bed post so that she could attack it. Several times she's fallen asleep on my lap, which is pretty much all I want from my animals. To cuddle. She's also getting quite vocal. If I'm not paying attention to her she wails. And meows. Endlessly until she's picked up. Soon after being picked up she wants to get down and play. Then she starts crying again because I'm not paying attention to her. She's already very good at using the litter box. We seem to have had one accident in the four days we've had her. Much better than Shelby as a puppy. Accidents all over the place.

Speaking of Shelby, she got sprayed by a skunk last night. I want to go back and check my posts from last year, but I think it's almost exactly the same time as when she was sprayed before. This time she didn't get as close and hence was not sprayed nearly as bad. We slathered her in tomato juice, dish soap, doggy shampoo and bubble bath. So far it seems to have worked. But last time, when we came home after letting her in the house we were nearly bowled over by the stench. It's the leaving then coming back that's the real test, so we'll see when we come home for lunch today whether our house seems habitable.

I wore a coat and scarf today. Probably if I weren't walking to work it wouldn't have been totally necessary, but I was and it was pretty cold and windy, of course. I think the weather has probably turned for worse. It's this time of year that I wonder whether I'll make it until April or May. Last April wasn't much good because it still snowed. And May was just OK. So here's to June. When I'll be happy again (I hope). Actually, I'm waiting to get in to see a doctor so that I can get on antidepressants, so it might not take that long to be happy again. We'll have to wait and see.

P.S. I did go back and check old posts and it was a year ago last Saturday night. So next November, remind me not to let Shelby outside at night.

Odd

I found myself happy to put on a light sweater this morning. Maybe it's just because it's almost like having new clothes when it's been so long since I wore it, but still, it was a good feeling. I didn't expect that. The weather has changed. On Tuesday it was so unbearably hot in my office that I left early. Seriously, it was about 86, and my office has no air conditioning or fan or anything in the way of a draft/breeze. Today the high is 59. That's cold to me. Plus there's the Nebraska-esque wind. Still, I was happy to put on my lavender sweater. Weird, huh?