November synopsis

89% on my Crimes final. I'd be lying if I said I'm not disappointed. But when only 5-6 people got an A, and about 20 people failed, I can't feel too bad about it. I guess.

Thanksgiving was lovely. It was really nice to not have to drive 12 hours on both ends of the break. Getting back into the grind is no fun. At least I got ahead in one class. In Contracts I have my homework done through December 20. Now to study for the mid-term.

I got my Christmas tree before Thanksgiving, first time ever. Haven't decorated it yet though. I love the Christmas tree. It's one of my favorite things. When I saw them for sale for the first time I went and hugged the tallest one I could find.

And a quote for today:
"I too am not a bit tamed, I too am untranslatable,
I sound my barbaric YAWP over the roofs of the world."
-Walt Whitman

I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world.

-Walt Whitman

Waiting

Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world. -George Bernard Shaw

I feel like checking out. Michael has been showing a lot of movies in class, and I'm trying to keep teaching relevant material and to remember that although I am frustrated and wish I weren't here right now, I have an obligation to do my best for my students. In other words, I'm trying to keep myself clean and bright.

Also, I get my LSAT results next Monday, and I've been anxious about it. I know that my anxiety serves no purpose, as I can do nothing to make my score better at this point, yet I've had nightmares about getting a 132. That would be horrible. But it is unlikely.

And as always, I'm trying to do the next right thing.

That's what my week is like.

Quote for today

"...the story of any one of us is in some measure the story of us all." - Frederick Buechner

Love at first listen

I'm really loving Sara Groves' remake of Jars of Clay's Flood. I bought the whole $30 package that came with extra downloads, a mug, free trade coffee and an autograph. And I think Flood was worth it. Also, my favorite song on the new album, Like a Lake. I think it's about being open even after we've been hurt. My favorite lyric from the song

"Everything in me is tightening,
Curling in around this ache
I will lay my heart wide open
Like the surface of a lake

Wide open a lake."

It's beautiful and a little sad.

I'm also enjoying her jazzy remix of her own version of When the Saints.

Also today, I'm really glad to be a literature teacher, for the simple fact that I get to read the literature too. We read part of Walden today. Parts of me think that Thoreau is totally ridiculous, unrealistic and pompous. But parts of me really love him and I smile when I read it.

My favorite quotes from Walden for today.

"For a man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone."

"I have frequently seen a poet withdraw, having enjoyed the most valuable part of a farm, while the crusty farmer supposed that he had got a few wild apples only."

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

"I would drink deeper; fish in the sky, whose bottom is pebbly with stars."

Otherwise, the last month has been very difficult at work. I don't really want to go into it or talk about it anymore. Suffice to say that at the end of many days, I come home, look at Michael, and think that he's the only person left in Pennsylvania who I like. (This is not altogether true, but you all know I'm perhaps prone to exaggeration, and it definitely feels that way some days.) So I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving break, but not the parent-teacher conferences that come before it. But if I can get through that without being screamed at (remember last year?), I think I'll have a really good break. I'm going to celebrate my mom's 60th birthday with her. Which freaks me out. How can I have a mom who's 60? I'm not prepared to have my parents grow old and die. And too often I dwell on it too much and then can't sleep. I digress. I'm going to try to start keeping a gratitude journal. Because I feel that my spirit could use it. Maybe I'll share some of that here.

In any case, you should go buy the new Sara Groves album, and if you can, you should get the extra downloads. Also, if you haven't yet, you should see Up. I cried a little. My favorite line, "I hid under the porch because I love you."

And I'm not going to try to write some conclusion to wrap this all up.

Thank you, Ben

Today Ben Yancer texted me to tell me I should check out mylifeisaverage.com. He promised I would not be disappointed. I've been laughing out loud a lot since then. Here's maybe my favorite:

Today, I was standing around waiting for my friend, when a businessman walked by on his phone and said "I don't care how hard it is, just stick it in!" I whispered to myself "That's what she said." The man heard, stopped walking, came back to me and high-fived me. Then continued walking. MLIA.

Go forth and have a laugh. It's Monday, after all.

My monthly update.

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. ~Anne Bradstreet

It's finally starting to look like spring here. The trees are turning green at the bottom of the mountain, the pears and cherries are blooming.

Spring also means Alumni Weekend. And the Junior Senior banquet, which the Juniors are in charge of. Both of those are this weekend. I've been really busy planning the banquet, but I think it will be nice. At this point, I don't even care that much, I'm just really ready for it to be over.

We were in Boston this last weekend over our April homeleave. It was beautiful. We walked alot. We stayed in the theater district, right downtown. There was a Maggiano's half a block from our hotel room, actually, I could see it from our window. So of course we had to hit that up. We went to Quincy Market and Paul Revere's house and the Old North Church. On Saturday we went to Concord and to Minuteman National Park, the Old Manse, Old North Bridge, etc. Unbeknownst to us, it was the day before the Revolutionary War started (April 19) two hundred and some hears ago. So there was a reenactment and all these people there to watch it. It was kind of cool and kind of crazy.

Also, we were both a little sick while we were there, so Saturday we drove back home and got a little rest before starting the week back up.

And we've got 32 days until graduation!

I'll try to post some pictures of our weekend soon.

Most of the shadows of life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

"You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do." -Anne Lamott in Traveling Mercies

Maybe after I write the post I'll come up with a title.

This week has been good. Not superdy-duper awesome good. But good. I haven't had a really bad day yet. Some tiredness. Apparently, coming off of 50 mgs gives me more energy, but also takes away my ability to sleep for long periods of time. But it is nice to have energy. Really nice. I'm almost caught up on my grading. (!) And I don't want to go to bed before I get home from work.

So, on Tuesday, in class one of my students said, "You're in a good mood today, aren't you, Mrs. Shofner?" And I said (a little surprised) "Yeah, I guess I am." I feel bad that my students had to suffer with me through most of this year. Hopefully things will be better for all of us from here on out.

Also, hurrah for Super Tuesday! McCain did well, and if I had to vote for a Republican, he would be one of a very short list that I would feel semi-okay about. And Obama proved that he is a viable candidate. And many more Democrats voted than Republicans, over all. That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside with the hope that our country will be different soon. I hope not to be terribly disappointed.

"What is honored in a country will be cultivated there." - Plato (meat, beer, entertainment and war?)

While I'm dreaming of moving south, we're planning on staying here for at least one more year. We like the school. Even if Pennsylvania itself makes me die inside. And I like my job most of the time, which cannot be said of all jobs I've had. Notably one that I had in Kentucky. Yeah.

My mother-in-law is coming to visit in a week. I'm trying not to be stressed.

I need to take my animals to the vet.

I planted some daffodil bulbs yesterday. I didn't have energy to do so in the fall when I should have. So I hope that they'll bloom, despite my negligence.

I got up to level 51 on freerice the other day. This was surprising, because previously there were only 50 levels. Now, apparently there are 55. I haven't gotten past 51 yet.

I think I'm getting carpel tunnel from playing too many computer games. This started over homeleave. Maybe I should get a life.

On a different note

Today's walk to work was wild and windy. I don't know how fast the wind was moving, but it blew my laptop case off my shoulder twice (don't worry, it didn't hit the ground, and I'm typing on it right now), and sometimes it didn't feel like I was making very much progress. It was quite a workout. I was out of breath when I finally reached the doors of the ad building. Also, there were little snow/ice (snice) pellets hitting me in the face. I'm ready for spring. Also, I've decided that for today, I won't draw any analogies of my walk to my life. It's just too depressing to put into words.

So in other news, I gave Pounce her first and second baths. She did not like them. But she looks funny when she's all wet. She's much scrawnier than she appears when she's fluffed out. Also, I took a bath last night, and when I stood up, I fell over. Hit my elbows on the rim of the tub. That's kind of disturbing. I'm like an old person who falls in the tub. I should get some of those railings to steady myself or something. Also, my elbows are bruised now.

I have a knot in my back that constantly feels like someone is stabbing me there. It almost feels electric. I haven't been to the massage therapist in a month and a half and I'm falling apart. It could also have something to do with sleeping on floors, air mattresses, airport chairs and several different planes. And one long and interesting night in LaGuardia airport in which I tried to sleep on a luggage cart. Mostly unsuccessfully. So I'm ready to get a massage and sleep in my own bed for more than a week at a time.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

(come on!)

This weekend we had a surprise birthday get-together for my brother. He turned 30. How did that happen? So it was a Nashville extravaganza. It was really good to be together for a happy reason. Although it was good to be together at Christmas, it was still sad, and then we were together for the funeral, but... yeah. So it's good to celebrate. Good to commemorate the good times as well as the bad. So we made lefsa, had good food, long talks and walks. And really, that's about it. And looking back, that was just about perfect.

Lately it seems like we only see each other for funerals. In the last year and a half I've lost four grandparents and a great-grandmother. All of this has prompted me to work on my family tree. There's some sense of urgency in me to know where I came from before it all disappears. I sure wish I had kept all the information from when I made family trees in high school. But what-ifs serve little or no purpose.

So I'm back to work. But only for three days, homeleave begins on Wednesday, and even though I haven't really been here in the last week and a half, I need a break. Some time to sit at home and rest and to be with Michael, who I haven't seen much lately. Some time to catch up on grading. And maybe on reading. I've only finished one book since the beginning of December. But I've also lost about 10 pounds since Thanksgiving. My medication has a lot of side effects-fatigue, lack of focus, loss of appetite... Some are bad and some are not as bad. Losing ten pounds is not so bad.

A few recent quotes of note:

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. - Mark Twain

If I owned Hell and Texas, I would rent out Texas and live in Hell. -U.S. General Philip Henry Sheridan