Supercalifabulous

My siblings have been visiting in the last week. Kirk came and went and came again and went again. Christa came and stayed for awhile and then went. We had a good time together. It's interesting how those sibling bonds stick even when you don't see each other very often. It's so easy to be together and feels so natural and we easily slip back into our childhood roles, good or bad. Hopefully, we don't slip all the way back.

We made the journey to Hawk Mountain, which is the first sanctuary made for predatory birds. One can see many birds there in the fall because of migratory patterns, and before it was made into a sanctuary, 3,000-5,000 birds were killed in the area every year. One book called it one of the top 50 places to go bird watching before you die. And since we come from a family of birders, we went. We saw some vultures, but no other birds of prey. Apparently September to early December is the best time to come. However, we did get to see the River of Rocks, which is basically what it sounds like. In some ice age or another, a glacier moved down the valley, and left in its wake a river formation of rocks. We could see it from probably a mile above. It was quite impressive. Then we hiked down to a boulder field which was pretty cool also.

I made fruit soup and black bean soup and Christa and I made crepes. So we ate well, even without a mother to make the food for us. Kirk left on Sunday, and Christa and I went to see Mary Poppins on Broadway. It was amazing. We both loved it. Of course, we grew up on the movie, so the similar parts were enjoyable, but they also added new songs and scenes from the books that were great too. They developed the Mrs. Banks character nicely and Bert was great. There were a few parts that we wished they had included from the movie, but they were small and definitely not necessary. And they really went all out, the set and costumes were fantastic, the singing-fabulous, the dancing was beyond my words. Mary actually lost a shoe into the audience at one point. Mary flew and Bert danced on the ceiling. So I highly recommend it. Of the seven shows I've seen, it was definitely one of the biggest, most colorful and amazing. Probably this one and Wicked were the most amazing.



So now back to the grind stone. I am starting to believe that spring will come. And trying to accept that it will probably still snow again. And that I'll probably live here for at least one more year. Sometimes I don't understand why God puts me in a place where it's so cold and so far from family and friends, things that make it more difficult to maintain emotional stability. But I hope and want to believe that God has a reason for it. Maybe it's the thorn in my side. It's a fight that I may never win, my struggle, my cross to bear. I don't want to believe that I may never be well on my own, but there's a lesson in that too. Learning to depend wholly on God, leaning on others and learning to ask for the help I need. I hate that.

Pounce is getting spayed today. I hope she doesn't hate me when she comes back. I want her to still be my happy little cat.

Random

No miraculous mood change yet. When I wake up in the morning I use my light and I feel like I have more energy afterward, but I don't feel particularly happy. I'm not feeling the deep sadness of before either. So I'm just kind of minorly depressed. Which I guess is better.

I got more feedback from my students' surveys. And I felt really good about it. I'm starting to think maybe I should be a teacher. But right now I'm just doing this part time-two classes. I can't imagine teaching full-time. So I guess I still don't know what to do with my life.

I caught Pounce halfway up the Christmas tree the other day. Now we have to watch out for that.

Two weeks from tomorrow Christmas vacation begins. That's a little hard to believe. I have no idea how I've gotten halfway through this school year. And second semester always flies by, so I'm practically done with this year. We're going to Florida for Christmas. Maybe the warmer weather and time with family will do the trick.

It keeps snowing here. It's not accumulating. Probably because of the wind. I guess all the snow we had here is probably down in Virginia by now.

I've gotten up to level 48 on freerice. And I've donated more than 80,00 grains of rice.

And that's about it.

Blessings

I have amazing friends. Sometimes I forget, because they're far away, and I'm not really good at staying in touch. But then they remind me. They are generous and thoughtful. And amazing.


Here I am in the light of my new light box. If you know what I'm talking about, thank you. You made my life a better place to be.


And, as promised, pictures of Pounce and the Christmas tree. I think this is quintessential Pounce. Curious and in your face.


Our giant tree.


An angel ornament that I inherited from my grandma. (I love angel ornaments and joy ornaments. You get it, Angela Joy.)


I don't even know where the string came from, but Pounce loves it.

The principal came to observe my class this morning. I think it went alright. I have a counseling appointment tonight and good things to report. I have amazing friends and family. Even when it doesn't feel good, my life is very blessed. Also, if you haven't tried it yet, go to Freerice.com. I'm obsessed. I've donated more than 30,000 grains of rice in the last three days. That's a lot of vocabulary words. And a lot of life avoidance, but I'll deal with that later. At least it's for a good cause.

Where to begin?

This will probably be a ramble, because a lot has happened in two weeks, and I don't feel like sorting it all out.

So two weeks ago, I called the doctor's office and they couldn't get me in because they don't have my records yet from the other doctor's office. That meant no antidepressants. I cried on the phone with them. They didn't give in. I felt very frustrated. Here I am, really trying to do the right things for myself, and no one seemed to be willing to help me.

So the next day I was at my OBGYN to get my birth control shot and I told the nurse administering my shot what I was going through. I seriously broke down right there. I must have been convincing. She got me two prescriptions to hold me over until I can get in at the regular doctor. She was really nice. Here I am crying and hyperventilating and she's saying things like, "That's what we're here on earth for, to help each other." and "You're not crazy, we all go through rough times." So kudos to her, the only medical professional willing to do anything helpful for me.

Parent/teacher conferences went fine. I had to tell one set of parents that their son plagiarized his paper. They weren't happy with him.

The vice principal came to observe my class. I think it went well. We haven't talked about it yet. But I did get the results from my students' surveys. They were very positive. It made me feel like I could be a teacher after all...

It started snowing last Sunday before we started our drive to Louisville. It wasn't really sticking, but it was disappointing anyway. And gross. On our drive back on Saturday there was a lot of snow on the ground in western PA but none here.

I had a nice day with my sister. I think she had a good birthday. I met her new boyfriend, who seems very nice. It was good to be with family, even briefly.

I have a clothing budget of $50 per month. This month I got a pair of shoes, a dress, two shirts, a sweater/jacket, and a pair of capri/gauchos. Boo-yah. And with two dollars to spare.

Caught up on my sleep over the holidays. Still tired. Can't sleep. Should look into getting some Ambien.

Got our Christmas tree yesterday. We had to cut some of the top off so that it didn't hit the ceiling. A big difference over last year's Christmas bush. Pounce loves the tree and wants to climb it and play with the ornaments. Hopefully I'll get out the camera and pictures will follow.

Grades are due tomorrow and I still have grading and lesson planning to do, so I have to get back to work.

Pounce and more

For your viewing enjoyment: more pictures of Pounce. And what's going on in our lives? I can't sleep. I've had a sore throat and a wisdom tooth that is gnawing into my cheek. Which is pretty painful, as you may imagine. The hole in my cheek is kind of gross and impressive. But when I lay on my left side I wake up from the pain of my cheek hole being pushed into my wisdom tooth. I talked to a dentist I know and he's going to give me something to cauterize (sounds scary) the "wound." He said I don't have to have the tooth pulled right now. Which is what I've been worried about. Because I don't have time to have it pulled right now.

Yesterday we had Fall Festival here. I had a good time. I especially enjoyed hearing nice things about my husband. Two parents came up to Michael and told him that their children love his classes and talk about him and their classes. I beamed. It made Michael feel good too. I keep telling him that he's a good teacher and he should just stick it out for awhile. It's good to have reassurement from parents, though, and we don't get that a lot at boarding school. Really, it's good to get reassurement from anyone. Speaking of teaching, I have an administrator coming to observe my class tomorrow. That's stressful. Then sometime I'll have an evaluation. I guess if they tell me I'm a terrible teacher I can know that this is not the career that I got my degree for, and I'll move on to something else and they can just find a different teacher. For two classes. I know people are just falling over themselves to get this job. (cough, cough) Obviously, since they hired me out of desperation. Suckers.

Also, at the end of this week is Parent Weekend. Included in the fun and games are a parent/teacher forum where all the parents and teachers get together and the parents can ask any questions they like to anyone, and parent/teacher conferences. I learned last year that parent/teacher conferences weren't as bad as I feared. I'm hoping that my observation holds true for this year. So far, I only have two parents signed up to talk to me. That would be nice, but I'm sure it won't go down that way.

So that's some of the anxiety that I'm dealing with right now. I'm ready for this week to be over. Actually, I'd like to fast forward to exactly a week from now, when, hopefully, I'll be on my way to Nashville from Louisville to celebrate my sister's birthday. Sigh.



See, Michael's still around.



Shelby is starting to get irritated by Pounce. Pounce pounces on Shelby, especially her tail. Shelby doesn't like this much. Still, they have some sweet moments.



Just an autumnal view.



She's very playful.



I tricked her into climbing in there for a treat and then closed her in, turned the carton right side up, then released her. She didn't like it much, but it made for a cute picture. I put SoftClaws on her so that she can't scratch me or the furniture anymore. A good alternative to declawing. At first she fell alot when trying to jump onto things she used to be able to claw her way up. It was pretty funny. I hope you don't all think I'm a horrible person after this last paragraph. You've gotta take your laughs where you can get them. In case you're worried, I'm still her favorite person, so I must not be too mean.

Pounce de Lion

That's the official name. Whether it will stick or not I'm not sure. Mostly she goes by Pounce. She's 8 1/2 weeks old. She has become quite proficient at climbing legs. So I'm trying to dissuade her from that. Also, she's fascinated by the ceiling fan. She tried to climb up the bed post so that she could attack it. Several times she's fallen asleep on my lap, which is pretty much all I want from my animals. To cuddle. She's also getting quite vocal. If I'm not paying attention to her she wails. And meows. Endlessly until she's picked up. Soon after being picked up she wants to get down and play. Then she starts crying again because I'm not paying attention to her. She's already very good at using the litter box. We seem to have had one accident in the four days we've had her. Much better than Shelby as a puppy. Accidents all over the place.

Speaking of Shelby, she got sprayed by a skunk last night. I want to go back and check my posts from last year, but I think it's almost exactly the same time as when she was sprayed before. This time she didn't get as close and hence was not sprayed nearly as bad. We slathered her in tomato juice, dish soap, doggy shampoo and bubble bath. So far it seems to have worked. But last time, when we came home after letting her in the house we were nearly bowled over by the stench. It's the leaving then coming back that's the real test, so we'll see when we come home for lunch today whether our house seems habitable.

I wore a coat and scarf today. Probably if I weren't walking to work it wouldn't have been totally necessary, but I was and it was pretty cold and windy, of course. I think the weather has probably turned for worse. It's this time of year that I wonder whether I'll make it until April or May. Last April wasn't much good because it still snowed. And May was just OK. So here's to June. When I'll be happy again (I hope). Actually, I'm waiting to get in to see a doctor so that I can get on antidepressants, so it might not take that long to be happy again. We'll have to wait and see.

P.S. I did go back and check old posts and it was a year ago last Saturday night. So next November, remind me not to let Shelby outside at night.