More bad gnus

Snow is in the forecast for the next three days. And it already snowed a little today. This also means it's cloudy. Again. And will continue to be so.

My work computer is too old and skanky to let me upload the pictures from my fancy shmancy camera. I don't own my own computer. Hence there will be no pictures of my life any time soon. Maybe after we get a tax refund we'll buy a computer.

We have school on Sunday. I think they should make the students go to school and monitor themselves. I don't want to teach. It should be illegal. At least classes start at 9:30. Otherwise, I would revolt.

Update. Whatever.

It's cloudy today, but less cloudy than some days. Which means I can see the top of the mountains and there is some light, so it does not seem like perpetual twilight. That's a relatively good thing. I swear it's like Seattle here. Maybe not as rainy, but cloudy all the time. Plus Nebraska-esque wind. The moral of this story is that I'm ready for spring.

I made chili the other night. It was pretty good. Not spicy enough for me. But since I was kind of improvising and I couldn't find any cayenne pepper in my cupboard, (I swear I used to have some) it sufficed. It snowed that day and it's always good to have nice hot soup on snowy, windy, cold days. We also had hummus and flat bread with the meal. Really, it was a perfect meal.

We keep our thermostat set at 62 degrees, and our heating bill was still $259. This is pretty frustrating. The bill was actually for December, when we were gone for two weeks and turned the thermostat down to 56 degrees. What's the deal? I hate winter. This is the only time when I feel semi-OK about global warming.

We finally got our Pennsylvania driver's licenses yesterday. My picture was pretty cute. Now we have to get our car registration done by the end of the month. Which is going to be difficult since we have Sunday school. Ugh.

Homeleave starts a week from today. We're going to see the Daily Show. I'm excited.

I feel uninspired and unmotivated. Blah.

The End.

Just breathe.

Lately I've been feeling small. And I want to feel big. Important. Like I'm doing something that makes a difference. The other night I cried about it for awhile. I think God puts this ache in my heart for a reason, but so far I have no answers as to why it's there. Or how to change it. Or what I should be doing about it. And it leaves me feeling very frustrated and small. I never feel like I'm doing enough. Maybe this is some sort of complex I have. Something left over from my dysfunction.

I tried to talk to God about it when I was feeling this way the other night. And I tried to remind myself that I should be looking for my identity and affirmation only from Him. But it's hard. Hard to remember. Hard to believe.

So I start dreaming about the things I could be doing. Helping AIDS victims in Africa is a popular one for me. Or working for a home for abused women and children. Or saving victims of sexual trafficking. If I had a direction and a place to start that would be good.

Or is this Satan's distraction from the good I could be doing where I am?

Accomplishment

Yesterday I got up and walked/jogged two and a half miles. Even though it was chilly and sprinkling, it seemed like a really good idea at the time. I've gained an uncomfortable amount of weight in recent months and when I look at pictures I'm not happy with what I see. This was not a New Year's resolution. I don't believe in them. Anyway, I felt really good afterward. And all day. It was the best day. Over all, endorphins rock. I was energized enough to take down all the Christmas stuff and put it away and drag the crispy Christmas tree outside and vacuum the living room and do two loads of laundry and put new sheets on the bed and dust the house. Most of those things I'd been meaning to do since I got back home a week and a half ago. But most days I just thought about it and gave up before starting. I just felt happy all day yesterday. And I know it was the endorphins.

Today I hurt. My legs want to fall off. This just goes to show that I'm really out of shape. I know it's not the walking, because last week I walked the same distance and had no pain afterward. It's the approximately half mile of jogging that did me in. Sad, I know. Right now, I'm just trying to remember yesterday's endorphins. They're fleeting. They should last at least a couple of days. At least until the pain subsides. Then I'd probably be more motivated to exercise again. Whereas, right now, I just want to go back to bed.

In other news, Michael is going to Southern for a few days to help with camp interviews. So I'll be all alone from Tuesday night till Thursday night. And I really don't feel like driving to and from Philadelphia twice in two days, but if I don't, I won't have a car. And that's annoying when I have to teach at eight on Thursday morning and the high for the day is 30 degrees.

Also, I don't know what I'm doing for class tomorrow. I'm fresh out of ideas. Maybe I'll show a movie. We're going to start public speaking soon. But that means I need to go though my box of notebooks and folders from college, and I really need some endophins to do that.

Ugh

Bad things are happening.

Worthington or Loma Linda or Kellogg's or whoever is in charge of these things has discontinued Tuno. Which will make it difficult for me to make my favorite casserole, Tuno Pinwheels. I'm very upset. And thinking about writing protest letters, and having my English students write protest letters. I have 49 students this semester. That might make an impact.

And it's snowing. The first snow of the season. It makes me want to vomit. Lots of students are excited. I'm disgusted. I had some hope that this would not happen this year. You know, God's little gift to me. Sadly, no. (Yes, I realize that my stance on snow contradicts my feelings about the need to preserve the environment. If our government and the car/gas industry decide to stop being greedy and do something to protect our grandchildren, I will resign myself to moving to Florida. I don't think it will be necessary.)

A new year

I know, it's been a really long time since I posted. My parents don't have internet, and I've been avoiding work like the plague. Until today. They made me come back today.

You'd think with another birthday (how did I get so old?) maybe I'd get more responsible. Sadly, not so.

Anyway, I had a good break. It was good to be with family, as always. I watched too much tv. I pretty much fried my brain on it. Which made me grateful that we don't have cable here. I can't watch tv all day. I have to rent or buy anything I want to watch.

We went to a bookstore yesterday and got 16 books for $18. It was fabulous. They're going out of business. And it made a great birthday gift to me. About half of them were hardbacks. I figure, if we paid full price it would have cost more than $150. So I'm stocked up for a couple of months.

Also, we got a digital camera for Christmas, so the possibilities of seeing pictures of us on my blog have increased greatly. Still, I need to be smarter than it to work it, and right now that seems doubtful.

It was good to come home. And this time I mean Pennsylvania. It's something about having our own space or something. I'm not sure, but it's good to be back, even though I miss my family.

Still, I'm not ready to teach again. I really don't even want to think about it yet. It's only a day away.