The latest

Avenue Q was hilarious. And inappropriate. And hilarious. Picture me laughing with my mouth wide open in shock at some of the things they said (and did). Oh my word. My favorite song: Everyone's a Little Bit Racist Sometimes

Also, New York cheesecake was, again, amazing.

I think I would like to live in New York for about a month and a half. Get to see everything I want to see and then get the heck out of there before global warming floods Manhattan. (I might even venture into Brooklyn if I lived there for awhile.)

In other happenings: it's beautiful here. I feel so happy all the time because it's warm outside and it's wonderful to be not in the house. I feel like a better person when it's nice outside. Also, the trees are starting to get green on the mountain. Right now it's just the trees at the bottom of the mountain. Ground level. The ones up higher are still looking winterish and drab. Grape Hyacinth are growing randomly in my backyard. Just all over the place. Noone could have planted them there. They're just there. And it makes me happy. I saw tulips blooming today. And the blooming trees are all blooming. I feel full.

Coming soon: alumni weekend. I am not looking forward to this. I think they should hold it somewhere else. Rent a big room somewhere. As it is, we have a lot of cleaning and preparing to do in the library (and everywhere else) this week. Bleh. Still, not annoying enough to keep me from feeling happy about life in general and the weather in specific.

News

I'm posting two days in a row. There must be something wrong, right?

Actually, not at all. We just found out that the school that we were supposed to interview at filled the position without interviewing Michael or calling to tell us that they'd filled the position. So we're staying here. And I feel really good about it. I've just kind of been in limbo for a month or more, not knowing how much I should commit to students and staff here and feeling stressed about it. Then the other school was unprofessional and inconsiderate and I feel happy about staying. So there's relief.

I'm glad because I'll be able to keep going to Broadway shows. I'll be able to make relationships for more than one year, so there's a good possibility for better friendships. I'm glad because I like the students here. (At least most of the time.) I'm glad because I like the administration. There are lots of good things. (I'm ignoring the weather, for the time being.) And I'm glad because I'll get to spend the summer near my family anyway. I'm glad because I'll sleep better now, without that hanging over my head.

That, my friend, is what you call closure.

That which is up

There's snow today. When I looked out the window this morning, the top half of the mountain was white. The bottom half was brown. I was drawn to stare at it like you do when there's an accident on the road. It was terrible to see, but I couldn't look away. Now there's this wet snow blowing in my ears whenever I go outside. I can't see the mountain anymore because of the clouds.

Other than that, things are pretty good. Friday night we went to a Jars of Clay concert, for which Burlap to Cashmere opened. That was my favorite part. And the encore for Jars of Clay was good. They sang quite a few old songs, which are the ones I know anyway. Another band played inbetween. Need To Breathe. Never heard of them. And I still don't know what they sing because they were so loud that I couldn't understand any of the words.

Sunday I ventured out to the outlet malls in Lancaster. Banana Republic, Gap, Skechers, Nine West, J. Crew, Pottery Barn and many, many more. And all I bought were some Harry & David truffles and a gift for my mother-in-law.

I'm looking forward to time off soon and catching up on sleep and maybe cleaning my house. Probably playing games with friends. So good times, basically.

And there's always tomorrow...

Today is better. I don't know why. But it is and I'm grateful. Yesterday when I woke up and realized that I had to teach I almost cried. But then, miraculously, they were quieter than normal, and listened better and did the things I asked (for the most part, they're not angels, after all). I think it was God's prodding, saying, don't give up yet. You still have more than a month to go.

It started snowing last Thursday and snowed on and off through Sunday. Fortunately, for my mental health, it didn't stick. If it had, we would have had quite a bit of snow on the ground because it really snowed a lot. At least it seemed to.

I remember last Easter Sunday laying on our water bed because the heating mechanism wasn't working and it was the only semi-cool place in our house. (It was more than 80 degrees and the air conditioning wasn't working. Also, we lived in a trailer, so the insulation was non-existent.) This year snow. Makes you think they're onto something with all that climate change talk.

Sadly, we're not going to make it out to Union next week as we had hoped. Plane tickets went up into the $350 range. And since we just paid about a thousand dollars in taxes, that's a bit out of our reach right now. So instead I found discounted tickets to see Avenue Q on Broadway next Thursday. Just to cheer us up. It won't make up for missing out on seeing all our friends, for sure.

And the allergies are here. I've had two migraines in the last four days. And I just have a little headache on the verge right now. It's not bad yet, and I have the Advil in my purse, just in case. Also, the phlegm has been constantly in the back of my throat for more than a week. All this and no flowers because it's too damn cold. Pennsylvania (or global warming) is toying with my emotions.

We hope to have news soon about an interview somewhere south of here. So keep that in prayer, if you don't mind. We don't know whether we want to go or not, but it's definitely something that's on our minds.

Anyway, that's all the news that's fit to be published.

Meh

Sorry for the general lack of posting. I've been feeling particularly uninspired. Except to vent about the frustrations of my job, which I don't really want to dwell on in my cyber life, since I already dwell on it in real life. Ben has born the brunt of my exasperation by email in any case.

So it's been quite warm here lately, it got up to 70 yesterday. I sat on the concrete slab in front of our house yesterday just to try to be happy by osmosis from the sun's rays. I don't know if that's what did it or not, but I slept better last night than I have in weeks... maybe months.

I've been trying to remember, in my days of anxiety, that God put me here, specifically, for a reason, and as long as I'm doing my best and relying on Him that He'll work it out. Still, I get angry at my workers when they don't do their work and then I have to do it instead. I get angry when my students are disrespectful in class. I get angry, just basically, when things aren't going my way. How self-centered am I? I am, theoretically, an adult, and should have learned by now that things rarely go the way I want them to go and that really, it's time to get over myself.

Anyway, it leads to me being stressed and not sleeping well. I've had some crazy dreams lately. I've had dreams with people in them that I haven't seen in months or years. People I haven't thought about in months or years. Really vivid dreams. You'd think I'm on drugs or something. And every time this happens I wonder if it's some kind of prompt from God. Should I be praying for them when I wake up from a dream about them? Is this some subliminal kinship? Or am I just on the fritz?

The bad news is that it's supposed to snow this weekend. Which made me cry a little this morning. I really thought we were done now. I've been seeing the piles of snow in the parking lots shrink and turn darker. And rejoicing with their death. If it snows again, I feel like a piece of the joyful me is just going to give up and disappear forever.

I know, I'm overly despondent and dramatic today. I even annoy myself with all the complaining I do. Probably tomorrow I'll be fine.