Random

It's about 75 degrees today. A miracle. I thought the warmth would never come. But daffodils and tulips and maybe crocus are peeking through the ground. Nature has proved my emotions wrong once again. I'm glad.

(Don't tell anyone I said this, but it actually feels a little too warm. Maybe just because I'm wearing pants and longish sleeves. We'll go with that.)

There's a Union recruiter here today and it makes me think I should go for that guaranteed degree. It's free after all, and I love a bargain.

Some things that happened

Spring break was crazy. I went to New York four times and Philadelphia three times. One of the trips to Philadelphia we had to give up on because of a snow storm. We got there and turned around and went right back home. We saw about ten accidents on the way there and back. It's usually a three hour roundtrip, but it took more like six. So that was a barrel of fun. Michael also went to Gettysburg and Washington D.C. but I skipped those trips. One night my mom and Dino and I were in the Philadelphia airport until 2:00 am waiting for Christa to get in. So we didn't get home till 4:00 am. I saw the Daily Show with John Stewart and the Lion King on Broadway and Ellis Island (twice) (and found my great-grandfather's name on the wall) and the Statue of Liberty (twice). I went to Chinatown and Central Park (twice). Found a great little place to buy cheesecakes in New York (twice) and visited the largest mall east of the Mississippi in Philadelphia. Saw Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell. Christa and I led a last minute song service at church when the guy who was supposed to lead song service couldn't make it because of the foot of snow we got the day before. Most of the snow has melted now, but for a couple of days it was quite treacherous. Lots of cars getting stuck in snow banks and people towing us out.

Somehow I managed to grade all the papers that needed to be graded. And I'm getting really good at getting around on the subway in New York. My family was impressed. I've decided that maybe I should be a tour guide. An international tour guide. I'm good with maps and directions. Maybe that's my true calling. My spiritual gift.

Anyway, it's good to be back to my regular crazy schedule, as opposed to the irregular craziness of spring break. I need a vacation.

I should have known.

When I looked outside this morning and saw a fresh blanket of snow on the ground I should have known that today was not the day to have our taxes done. Alas, I didn't think it all through, so we went.

H&R Block says we owe $867.

That hurts.

How does this happen when you don't claim any deductions?

I was hoping with out tax refund to buy a computer, since neither of us currently own one. There goes that dream.

All because I didn't recognize God's warning sign to me: don't do anything of importance when it snows. You'll get screwed.

Because I haven't posted in awhile.

The snow is starting to melt. I'm afraid to say much about because last time I did, it snowed another six inches. I'm starting to imagine what it would be like for spring to be here. I think of green grass and things budding and trees leafing... Anything but white, grey and brown. I have more than enough of those colors. Ready for something new.

My family arrives for a visit a week from today. I'm excited. Also, next Tuesday we're going to go try to see the Daily Show again. This time we have VIP tickets and know how to get there. That should help. Maybe there will be more good Thai food.

Last Sunday I served ice cream to about 120 kids. My index finger, thumb and wrist finally feel better today.

I've been waking up approximately 30-40 times a night. I'm really tired. I'm at that point where lots of things are funny. It's not noon yet. I was that way in class this morning. Someone asked why it was so hot in the classroom and I pointed to myself. Then someone asked what the movie was about and I said, "Your mom." Out loud. In real life. To some inner-city kids. It's the sleep deprivation. The censors are turned off.

I melt

The high for today is 42, a temperature unheard of since the beginning of January. I'm hoping the foot high pile of ice blocking the path to the front door starts to melt. Right now, we're just asking for broken bones every time we enter or exit our abode.

I've read eight books so far this year. They are, in chronological order:

Love Me by Garrison Keillor
The Innocent Man by John Grisham
A Mighty Heart by Mariane Pearl
Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
All He Ever Wanted by Anita Shreve
Our Lady of the Forest by David Guterson
Storming Heaven by Denise Giardina
Teacher Man by Frank McCourt

I'm trying to keep up with a book a week. The one I'm starting today is Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. It won the Pulitzer Prize and I've been wanting to buy it for months. I'm excited.

We started a little public speaking in class. I thought I'd start off easy with a 2-3 minute reading. Sadly, no one in my classes listens so they all forgot about it and were just reading random passages from their textbooks. Not the most inspiring class period.

That's about it. I bought a gameboy advance used and am a little obsessed right now. It's really cutting into my reading time. And I'm not sleeping well. Which does not bode well for my mental health. Also, I changed my comment settings so I think it's easier to post comments now. See how I beg?

Happy Valentine's Day (Blizzard)

So lately blogger/my computer is letting publish comments, but not sign in. It was a long process to get to the point where I can write. Anyway...

So on Valentine's day we had some crazy weather. Actually, it started Tuesday night with lots of snow. Then around 8:30 that night it started with the sleet and freezing rain, which was weird since it was only about 10 degrees. You'd think at that temperature it would just be snow, but whatever. Anyway, the sleet carried on for awhile... pretty much all night and into the morning, then around 10 in the morning we basically had a white out which lasted till about one. Then just regular snow. The snow plow would go down the parking lot and back up and where they had just plowed it would be full of snow again. So of course salt and gravel weren't gonna do the trick. So all afternoon the power was flicking off and on.

We got our car stuck when we were coming back from the cafeteria after lunch. We thought it would be good to keep moving it so that it wouldn't get snowed in. It didn't work. At 4:30 I walked home in the 40-50 mile per hour wind. With drifts up to my knees on the road to our house. What was nice was that the snow in front of our house was so hard that neither my footprints nor the car's tiretracks sink in more than half an inch.

At seven the power went off for real. Which was too bad because that's when Michael started walking home from school. And supper was almost ready. Fortunately it was only out for about an hour, so we didn't freeze to death without the heat.

So I opened up an MSN article about the storm and cleanup this morning and sure enough, it was posted from Hamburg. Yeah. That's where we live. They closed 50 miles of the interstate that runs through town. They had blackhawk helicoptors and hummers bringing people food and fuel for about two days.

I don't think I ever got my car stuck in Nebraska... And we really only got about eight inches. It was just the crazy combination of precipitation that made all the mess. At least we got the backhoe to get our car out and now we can drive again, they got the snow drifts off the road.

Too bad they don't close boarding school for snow.

So that was our craziness of late.

*Door slams in face* Look, a window's open!

So last Wednesday we were supposed to go to the Daily Show in NYC. We were way excited. We got off work at 12:30, ran home and changed then drove to Newark, took a bus into the Port Authority and ran the 13 or so blocks (NYC blocks, not Lincoln blocks) to the show taping address. Sadly, we were a little late. They stopped giving tickets away two people in front of us. Even more sadly, for the people in front of us, they were from San Diego. It's harder to get to NYC from San Diego than from Pennsylvania.

We were really disappointed. Apparently they overbook every show by about 30 people so that they have every seat filled. The good news is that we get VIP tickets next time.

The fantastic news is that as we were walking along, lo and behold, we saw a sign for Wicked. If you don't know what Wicked is, then you shouldn't be my friend. Go look it up on Google or something. So we walked up to the box office and asked if they still had any seats for sale. We got 6th row orchestra seats. We could see the director's head. And little stick as he waved it around. It was fantastic. And awesome. And many good times were had by all (me and Michael). I love musicals. And though it was quite different from the book, they were singing and dancing, so that pretty much made up for it. We splurged a bit to get that close, but really, how often are we going to have this opportunity? I think it was a once in a lifetime chance, and we took it and we loved it.

The drive back at two in the morning was another thing altogether.

Oh yeah, we also found this great little Thai place about a block away from the show. They had nice big chunks of fresh vegetables in their food. And so tasty. No frozen vegetables. Wonderful.

Other than that, we had a good homeleave. We cleaned and played games and watched Veronica Mars. I'm trying to stay in the normal zone. Struggling, but it's been sunnier, so that helps.

Enjoyed the Superbowl last night. Go Peyton Manning. Yeehaw for Tennesseans!

Happy to Oblige

I'm pretty sure I've done this survey before, but it was on my other blog, and maybe I have new answers now. Plus I'm uninspired to write about anything else. By the way, my computer won't even let me look at other people's comments, much less comment myself. That explains my lack of commenting... What's your excuse?

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Print Shop Coordinator (bleh)
2. Lifeguard/Blob Director
3. Student writer/intern for Marketing Communications Department at UC
4. Switchboard Operator


Four Movies you would watch over and over:
1. The Music Man
2. Fiddler on the Roof
3. Benny and Joon
4. Beaches

Four Places you have lived:
1. Cortez, CO
2. Lexington, KY
3. Madison, TN
4. Hamburg, PA

Four of your favorite foods:
1. Chipotle Vegetarian Fajita Burrito... it's been so long
2. Green Spaghetti
3. Homemade pizza made by me
4. Ice cream

Places you’d rather be right now:
1. In bed. Maybe not my own bed because we're keeping our thermostat at 52.
2. Florida
3. My mom's house
4. Somewhere where the high today is more than 17 degrees, as it is here. Somewhere like Jamaica. Warm and exotic.

People I hope will respond by posting on their blogs:
1. Everyone I
2. know, I think
3. has already posted this, but in case they haven't
4. Justin

More bad gnus

Snow is in the forecast for the next three days. And it already snowed a little today. This also means it's cloudy. Again. And will continue to be so.

My work computer is too old and skanky to let me upload the pictures from my fancy shmancy camera. I don't own my own computer. Hence there will be no pictures of my life any time soon. Maybe after we get a tax refund we'll buy a computer.

We have school on Sunday. I think they should make the students go to school and monitor themselves. I don't want to teach. It should be illegal. At least classes start at 9:30. Otherwise, I would revolt.

Update. Whatever.

It's cloudy today, but less cloudy than some days. Which means I can see the top of the mountains and there is some light, so it does not seem like perpetual twilight. That's a relatively good thing. I swear it's like Seattle here. Maybe not as rainy, but cloudy all the time. Plus Nebraska-esque wind. The moral of this story is that I'm ready for spring.

I made chili the other night. It was pretty good. Not spicy enough for me. But since I was kind of improvising and I couldn't find any cayenne pepper in my cupboard, (I swear I used to have some) it sufficed. It snowed that day and it's always good to have nice hot soup on snowy, windy, cold days. We also had hummus and flat bread with the meal. Really, it was a perfect meal.

We keep our thermostat set at 62 degrees, and our heating bill was still $259. This is pretty frustrating. The bill was actually for December, when we were gone for two weeks and turned the thermostat down to 56 degrees. What's the deal? I hate winter. This is the only time when I feel semi-OK about global warming.

We finally got our Pennsylvania driver's licenses yesterday. My picture was pretty cute. Now we have to get our car registration done by the end of the month. Which is going to be difficult since we have Sunday school. Ugh.

Homeleave starts a week from today. We're going to see the Daily Show. I'm excited.

I feel uninspired and unmotivated. Blah.

The End.

Just breathe.

Lately I've been feeling small. And I want to feel big. Important. Like I'm doing something that makes a difference. The other night I cried about it for awhile. I think God puts this ache in my heart for a reason, but so far I have no answers as to why it's there. Or how to change it. Or what I should be doing about it. And it leaves me feeling very frustrated and small. I never feel like I'm doing enough. Maybe this is some sort of complex I have. Something left over from my dysfunction.

I tried to talk to God about it when I was feeling this way the other night. And I tried to remind myself that I should be looking for my identity and affirmation only from Him. But it's hard. Hard to remember. Hard to believe.

So I start dreaming about the things I could be doing. Helping AIDS victims in Africa is a popular one for me. Or working for a home for abused women and children. Or saving victims of sexual trafficking. If I had a direction and a place to start that would be good.

Or is this Satan's distraction from the good I could be doing where I am?

Accomplishment

Yesterday I got up and walked/jogged two and a half miles. Even though it was chilly and sprinkling, it seemed like a really good idea at the time. I've gained an uncomfortable amount of weight in recent months and when I look at pictures I'm not happy with what I see. This was not a New Year's resolution. I don't believe in them. Anyway, I felt really good afterward. And all day. It was the best day. Over all, endorphins rock. I was energized enough to take down all the Christmas stuff and put it away and drag the crispy Christmas tree outside and vacuum the living room and do two loads of laundry and put new sheets on the bed and dust the house. Most of those things I'd been meaning to do since I got back home a week and a half ago. But most days I just thought about it and gave up before starting. I just felt happy all day yesterday. And I know it was the endorphins.

Today I hurt. My legs want to fall off. This just goes to show that I'm really out of shape. I know it's not the walking, because last week I walked the same distance and had no pain afterward. It's the approximately half mile of jogging that did me in. Sad, I know. Right now, I'm just trying to remember yesterday's endorphins. They're fleeting. They should last at least a couple of days. At least until the pain subsides. Then I'd probably be more motivated to exercise again. Whereas, right now, I just want to go back to bed.

In other news, Michael is going to Southern for a few days to help with camp interviews. So I'll be all alone from Tuesday night till Thursday night. And I really don't feel like driving to and from Philadelphia twice in two days, but if I don't, I won't have a car. And that's annoying when I have to teach at eight on Thursday morning and the high for the day is 30 degrees.

Also, I don't know what I'm doing for class tomorrow. I'm fresh out of ideas. Maybe I'll show a movie. We're going to start public speaking soon. But that means I need to go though my box of notebooks and folders from college, and I really need some endophins to do that.

Ugh

Bad things are happening.

Worthington or Loma Linda or Kellogg's or whoever is in charge of these things has discontinued Tuno. Which will make it difficult for me to make my favorite casserole, Tuno Pinwheels. I'm very upset. And thinking about writing protest letters, and having my English students write protest letters. I have 49 students this semester. That might make an impact.

And it's snowing. The first snow of the season. It makes me want to vomit. Lots of students are excited. I'm disgusted. I had some hope that this would not happen this year. You know, God's little gift to me. Sadly, no. (Yes, I realize that my stance on snow contradicts my feelings about the need to preserve the environment. If our government and the car/gas industry decide to stop being greedy and do something to protect our grandchildren, I will resign myself to moving to Florida. I don't think it will be necessary.)

A new year

I know, it's been a really long time since I posted. My parents don't have internet, and I've been avoiding work like the plague. Until today. They made me come back today.

You'd think with another birthday (how did I get so old?) maybe I'd get more responsible. Sadly, not so.

Anyway, I had a good break. It was good to be with family, as always. I watched too much tv. I pretty much fried my brain on it. Which made me grateful that we don't have cable here. I can't watch tv all day. I have to rent or buy anything I want to watch.

We went to a bookstore yesterday and got 16 books for $18. It was fabulous. They're going out of business. And it made a great birthday gift to me. About half of them were hardbacks. I figure, if we paid full price it would have cost more than $150. So I'm stocked up for a couple of months.

Also, we got a digital camera for Christmas, so the possibilities of seeing pictures of us on my blog have increased greatly. Still, I need to be smarter than it to work it, and right now that seems doubtful.

It was good to come home. And this time I mean Pennsylvania. It's something about having our own space or something. I'm not sure, but it's good to be back, even though I miss my family.

Still, I'm not ready to teach again. I really don't even want to think about it yet. It's only a day away.

Things to be thankful for...

As of today, I've been married to Michael for a year and a half. That's a very good thing.

He brought me roses. They're beautiful and made my difficult day a little easier.

Ben's coming today. I don't think he planned it this way, but I like to think of it as an anniversary gift and Christmas gift and (what the heck?) birthday gift all rolled into one.

I really like my new massage therapist. She's kind of like a counselor and she makes me feel good about me.

I think, maybe, possibly, I'm less dizzy today. (It's really more of a wishful, hopeful, than a for sure thing.)

Only two more days before I fly home. Not drive, fly. Huzzah.

I'm planning on playing Boggle for my students' final exam. This will be more fun than an exam. At least I think so. And they probably will too, since it's for bonus points or something. I haven't figured it all out yet, but it means I don't have to grade a test.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel: I'm closing in on finishing grading these book reports.

Those are very good things.

There is no subject.

I want to go home. My mom's ginormous Christmas tree is up. Actually, it's only 11 feet this year. Dino thinks it's too small.

Plus it's been really foggy here for the last three days. This does not lend itself to me feeling good about life.

And today I just want to cry a little. Mostly frustration. What is it about plagiarism that is so appealing to English students? Anyone have ideas on what to do about this issue? I have at least six plagiarised papers. That's not good, folks.

I made cookies this week. They're good, but I'd rather be home.

Funny that I still think of my mom's home as home. Really, I should grow up soon.

A week from now, after a week of testing (but not for me, I'm not giving a final.) and packing and Ben being here for a visit, I'll be home. That sounds nice.

I wish you could all see how crooked our little Christmas tree is. It makes for good times.

No, thank you.

Today I had my students journal about one of their heroes, or someone they admire. One of my students wrote about me. I don't know whether she was kissing up or being serious. Either way, it felt really, really nice. Especially after the last couple weeks of difficulty.

Who knew?

Ah, yes...

Since my computer will not allow me to either read or post comments on anyone's blog, I will now respond to Katie's book selling story with a story of my own. A favorite story.

I took some music history class at Union. It was badly taught. I realized this pretty quickly into the class. We watched a lot of videos and didn't learn much from the lectures. I had already purchsased the book for said class, and it was too late to return it for the full refund. I didn't take the book to class. I got an A- in the class. I could have gotten a 100% in the class if I had taken it out of the shrink wrap. Especially because he gave open-book quizzes and tests. But I decided that it was worth it, just to make the point, and because I'm ridiculously stubborn, to not unwrap my book.

So on book sell back day I sold back my book still in the shrink wrap. I didn't get any extra money back or anything, but I like to think of it as a moral victory.

The end.

My brain is fried

This week I want to quit my job. Everything is too frustrating and too hard. I yelled in class. For seriously. More than once. Why will they not listen? Today's classes actually went better. This is in comparison to Tuesday's classes, after which I nearly cried. So better is used figuratively.

My students have a rough draft a paper due tomorrow. It's basically a book report/analysis. I had them talk about the book in their journal today. About ten of them have not started reading it yet. The final draft is due a week from today. This is all very discouraging to me.

And yet, most of my students claim to like me. If this is true, then why do they insist on being so disrespectful? Then, the students who cause the most disruptions come up to me and ask me if they can have extra credit to bring their grade up. I try to gently tell them that maybe paying attention in class and turning their work in would bring up their grade. And that I give quite a few chances for extra credit every week, but they do not take advantage of it. That would probably help their grade too.

If Tim is reading this, Happy Birthday.

Testing, 1... 2... 3...

I'm singing special music for church tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'm doing Labor of Love. I'm really nervous. I think I haven't had a special music since graduation. That was a long time ago folks. And to be perfectly honest, this song is not in my best vocal range. But I'm going for it anyway. These people don't know what my best vocal range is, so they won't know it's not my best. Then maybe they'll never ask me again. That would be good and bad.

I remember a time in high school when I no longer got nervous about special musics and solos because I did them so often. I even had a whole vocal recital of about eight songs that I sang all by myself. Not nervous. College and real life changed all that. I'm out of practice.

Other than that the plans for the weekend are going to a camp somewhere pretty close to here to see John and Wendy. Talk about camp next summer and old times. They're having a big Adventist camping convention there. So all the camp bigwigs will be in town.

Also I'm planning on getting the Christmas tree. Very excited.

Also, I really like this win, lose or draw thing we've got going. It's fun, even though I'm no good at it.